Written for Soupytwist, for her prompt: "drabble with the words 'legendary,' 'ubiquitous' and 'asphalt' in it."

"Ray. Ray. Ray."


"Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I fell on a flat surface, but other than that I'm just dandy, Fraser."

"I am glad to hear it. Would you like a hand up?"

Ray struggled to his feet and wiped his hands on the seat of his pants. "I said I'm fine, Fraser."

"I never suggested it was otherwise. I merely wondered-"

"Well, don't," Ray interrupted, lifting a finger in warning. "Nothing happened here, capisce?"

Puzzled, Fraser decided to play along. "Of course, Ray. Just as you say."

"Right. Good. Okay. Let's go nail those bastards." Ray turned on his heel and began walking, his stride surer than ever. Fraser fell into step, Dief flanking their collective rear.

Unsure how to act in the silence, Fraser decided that reassuring Ray that, despite it having 'not happened', his falling on what appeared to be a flat surface to an untrained eye was nothing to be ashamed of.

"You know, Ray, I once knew a Mountie - a legendary Mountie, in fact, one whose acts of heroism won him the love of all of Canada - who could perceive the smallest of faults in asphalt."

He waited for Ray's reaction, and when it came - a certain kind of grunt that told him Ray was listening, even while not willing to acknowledge said fact - he carried on.

"And this legendary man once claimed that faults in asphalt were ubiquitous, and, in fact, claimed that they had been left in the concrete on purpose, so as to confound the average walker and trip him or her up on their way to success."


"Ubiquitous, Ray. Ever-present," Fraser elucidated.

"Did he fall on his ass a lot?"

"Well..." Fraser's loyalty to his fellow countrymen and colleagues warred with his need to appease Ray's wounded dignity. The latter won out. "Yes, yes he did."

"Legendary, huh?" Ray sounded almost his usual self.

"Quite legendary, Ray."

"For falling on his ass, right?"

"Well..." Fraser bid his goodwill thoughts a fond farewell. "Mostly. Yes."

"Thanks, Frase. That really doesn't help."

However, to Fraser's ears, Ray's tone suggested quite the opposite. He allowed a small smile through. "You're quite welcome, Ray. Any time."

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