Under the Skin



Written for Helleboredoll, in response to this icon (made by Mary Avatar), as a prompt.



God, Joe was a dick. Went without saying, but Billy'd forgotten how much Joe could piss him off with a word or a look. He could just get under Billy's skin and irritate him, just... gnaw at him, until he either had to beat him or fuck him, and now, he wasn't even sure which one he wanted more.

Yeah, he came, how could he not? Joe called, he came - that was buddies, what was what they did. But Joe was still Joe, he was still the controlling asshole that Billy could never escape, could never beat, could never fully face. God, he fucking hated him. He couldn't live without him. Who the fuck was he, without Joe Dick, some replacement for a drugged-out guitarist down South. Here, he was Billy fucking Tallent, he was the guitarist, he was the guy the crowd came to see, him and Joe, they were it, they were the guys. Here, he could do his own thing. It was the music, not the money, and yeah, he hated being dirt poor at thirty fucking five years old, he hated being a fucking nobody, but he didn't feel like a nobody right then. That was why he came back. That, and fucking Joe, right there, already under his skin, like sweat from the wrong side, like an itch he wouldn't scratch, even if it killed him.

Joe just sauntered up to him, just came up right up to him and kissed him, on the cheek, like a fucking girl, and covered it up by planting a wet one on Oxenberger. Fucking liar. It's what Joe'd been waiting for, Billy knew, because he'd been waiting for it, too. He would never admit it. But he had. He'd waited. And now that he had it, now that the old shit was coming back up, he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to be Joe's fucking assboy anymore, and God did he want Joe to fuck him. He could never find a balance, never an in-between, it was never equal between them. Except for the times when he knew that it was all about him. That Joe's entire pathetic existence centered around him and yeah, that felt good, because Billy's whole pathetic existence used to center around Joe. He didn't want that anymore. He wanted it all. He didn't fucking know what he wanted anymore, so he just played, just ripped into it and let go, because fuck, they were Hard Core Logo, and they were doing it, and it didn't matter what happened after the show, because they were there, together, making noise and loving every fucking minute of it.



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