Why Not?

Written for Gehayi, with this icon as a prompt.


Remus whispers the name, still not quite believing he is allowed to. Sirius, in between kisses to his chest and neck, doesn’t look up, only queries with a quick ‘yes?’

“Sirius, why are we doing this?” His voice bound to betray him, he whispers this, too. Sirius breaks off. Now that they’re naked, tangled among the sheets, Remus is certain he’s bewildered. He’s bewildered himself, for questioning this, for asking… For being here in the first place. He doesn’t remember exactly how they got here, only recalls the sensations, perhaps an odd word here or there, such as “God” and “Want you” and the unbuckling of belts, the quick snatch and slide of shorts, the noise of clothing landing in a heap on the floor.

“Why?” Sirius leans back a little, enough to allow them both to focus on one another, and not have to squint. Remus holds the gaze, putting all of his will into the one act.

“Yes, this… this isn’t a good idea, Sirius.” Why now, why not before they were both hard and aching to just fuck?

“Why not?” Sirius looks puzzled, and, if Remus can believe it, hurt. He finally looks away. He doesn’t answer. “Moony, why not?” Remus finally wills himself to look back and answer.

“Because… because this could ruin everything. I mean… there’s James, and Peter, and –”

“And you and me.” Sirius faces him, stubborn and panting, and perfect, so fucking perfect, Remus’s thoughts stop dead in their tracks.

“What – what do you mean, ‘you and me’?”

“I mean, you and me. Why can’t that be us? What’s wrong with that?” Sirius is still panting, but his words come through clear and precise. It’s almost as if he had rehearsed them, Remus thinks, but the thought is absurd, and he puts it out of his mind.

“You want there to be an ‘us’? What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Sirius looks away and presses a hand to the sheet, smoothing down the wrinkles. “I mean, why not? I mean…let’s make this…you know… together, like…”

“You want us to be together?” Not just for fucking, he wants to ask, but doesn’t. “That’s not… what if somebody finds out?”

“How?” The question shoots out like a bullet, quick and precise yet again. He has rehearsed this, Remus thinks, he’s rehearsed this a million times.

“I suppose… I…” The doubt is drowned in a kiss, fierce and possessive. He gulps for air, but all he can do once he’s free is drown again, and he grabs Sirius’s hair, pulling it forward, letting it slide through his fingers, letting it go, and grabbing it again. Sirius tears off the sheet that’s covering the lower half of Remus’s body, and without any preamble, grabs his cock, pulling it hard and fast.

“Let’s not talk… Let me be with you, Moony…” He mumbles, but Remus can barely hear, the rushing in his ears fierce and overpowering. He moans, one long, hard moan, and Sirius answers, sinking his teeth into Remus’s shoulder, mixing pleasure with pain, driving Remus half out of his mind.

“We won’t, we won’t, we won’t,” he mumbles, and just as he comes, he throws back his head and hears Sirius whisper. He smiles through the waves of pleasure that have assaulted him. Yes. They would be crazy not to.

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