Breaking The Routine

A/N: This goes out to all the slashers out there, may your life be joyful for ever more. Heh.

The ending is for Jadis. Because it is "a part of life".

Sirius purged himself of his final article of clothing - red tartan boxer shorts - and stepped into the shower. This was, by far, his favourite part of the day. Before the crazy mornings filled with running every which way trying to find his tie, or shoe, or lucky quill, with Peter scrambling to finish his homework at the last minute and whinging for Remus to help him, and Remus abandoning dressing to help Peter with his Divination charts, and James trying desperately to make his hair lie, if not flat, then in some sort of orderly chaos, there was The Shower.

The Shower was a magical thing. It was his sanctuary, one that he, admittedly, shared with a few others, but his own nonetheless. The Shower was where Sirius felt at peace. It was where he sometimes had revelations, epiphanies and sudden ideas for more pranks. It was the place of Wisdom and Cleanliness. It was also the place where he, not for the first time now, contemplated how much he appreciated the fact that Peter always managed to catch Remus for help in between shirts.

That was always a welcome sight, he mused as he rubbed a bar of soap between his hands. Remus was quite an attractive boy, after all. Thin, yet muscular - strong, yet soft skinned. Sirius particularly liked his arms, especially the way the sinewy tendons of the forearms moved as Remus pointed out certain sentences to Peter, while the other boy chewed convulsively on his quill, too preoccupied with contemplating his own doom to actually understand a word of what Remus was saying to him.

Ah, yes. Remus. Sirius had long ago realised his attraction for his friend. And, oddly enough, that feeling, that force, always had the ability to make him feel at peace. While usually on edge and uneasy when attracted to someone, with Remus, Sirius felt calm. Perhaps it was because Remus simply had a very calming presence about him, making even the jumpy Peter feel more at ease. Perhaps it was because Sirius was so completely sure about the depth of his own feelings that he didn’t even want to doubt anybody else’s. And perhaps it was because James had revealed to him in confidence that Remus was not so far beyond his grasp.

Yes, Sirius mused as hot water poured down his body, warming his skin and soothing the muscles, he would do something soon. He had even thought up a seduction plan - why, in this very shower, just yesterday - that involved an empty dorm room (James, Peter and Jack could, quite simply, go hang themselves if they protested), some stolen champagne, legally acquired chocolate frogs and one of two available beds.


Sirius imagined just what that scene could be like, while the shampoo stung his eyes as the water slid the foam down his eyebrows. He rinsed said foam from his eyes and opened them, blinking very fast to get rid of the sting of the water-dried eyes.

He then noticed two things.

One, his thoughts had strayed so far that they had produced a rather visible result. And two, he was no longer alone. What’s more curious, he was no longer the only one who was completely starkers. Remus Lupin was standing some distance away from him, in all his Naked Glory, arms crossed at his chest, torso leaning against the stall opposite of Sirius, eyes never leaving his. And the look in those eyes was, for lack of a better word, ravenous.

Sirius spluttered from shock and instinctively reached down to cover the most conspicuous teller of his thoughts. He could feel himself blushing furiously, and realised that perhaps he wasn’t as calm about this as he had originally thought, because his heart began drumming ten times faster than before. Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something in order to break the tension, Remus spoke, in a strangely husky - and excruciatingly sexy - voice

“Well, that’s a shame, really, Padfoot. You shouldn’t hide that, you know. It suits you.” He paused. “Quite well.” He then raised an eyebrow and uncrossed his arms, pushing himself gracefully away from the stall divider and stepping closer to Sirius. The latter didn’t think he had ever seen a more erotic sight and his cock grew harder underneath his palm, which he still held over it protectively. He was in such shock and arousal that he couldn’t actually think of a reply to that, and he really didn’t want to consider the undignified gulp that had escaped his throat as such. It certainly was out of character for him.

Meanwhile, Remus came so much closer, that within a second, only a mere half a foot separated them. Sirius was trying valiantly not to look down and continue simply looking at Remus’ face, but desire got the better of him and his eyes strayed, hungrily taking in the familiar arms and torso, and then going further down, noting the lean, muscular legs, thin hips and…

“Remus…” His voice had finally come back to him, taking on a rather husky tone, as well. “What…exactly…are you doing?” he asked, feeling stupid, really, because there could be only one reason his dearest friend was standing in front of him stark naked, not even hiding the fact that he was aroused, as well.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Remus asked in turn, propping himself up against the shower wall with one arm.

“Well…” Of course he knew. In fact, wasn’t this his own idea, only slightly more bold and, well, forward? “I’d say you have more in mind than a shower…”

“Well, actually, a shower does sound good, but you’re right. I do.” Through a steam-damped curtain of hair, Remus leveled him with his gaze, and it was a look that made Sirius’s knees buckle, his stomach contract, his fingers itch and his breath quicken. It was absolutely maddening. “Padfoot, let me ask you a question,” Remus continued slowly, running his gaze all over Sirius’s body, leaving no spot unattended. If he could do this with just his eyes, Sirius wondered what Remus could do with his touch. Sirius would probably come as soon as those slim fingers came in contact with his -

“What?” He had to focus on talking to him, first. It was getting increasingly hard, however, as the pouring steam from his shower was settling itself on Remus’s shoulders, making the skin glisten. Sirius tore his eyes away from the sweaty shoulder and looked the other boy in the eye.

“What were you thinking about when I came in?”

Yes, he would be interested, wouldn’t he? After all, Remus had come in to discover Sirius humming to himself while his cock was hardening more with each passing second. Well, if Remus could be forward, so would he.

“Champagne.” Well, sort of.

“Champagne,” Remus repeated, undaunted. “Does champagne always have that effect on you?”

“In a right situation.” Oh, yes, he had definitely regained his cool.

“Ah, I see.” Remus pushed himself away from the wall and took a small step forward, almost closing the distance between them. “Would this be one of them?” he breathed, his hazel eyes darkening as the pupils dilated to an almost impossible extent. “Minus the champagne, of course…” His breath smelled of mint, and Sirius didn’t think he could wait any longer. His friend was driving him absolutely mad. He was about to answer, when he felt a grip on his wrist. He looked down. Remus was carefully pushing his hand away from his crotch, revealing a very painful erection. When Sirius looked up, Remus caught his lips with his.

It felt like thunder had just sounded in his ears. Everything rang, he was sure he could almost hear a melody in it. Remus’ lips were insistent, soft and simply masterful. This was no shy first kiss - this was The Kiss. The kind of kiss two people share when they can’t find the words; the kind of kiss two people share when they are absolutely certain; the kind of kiss that two people share when they are about to fuck each other’s brains out.

Sirius moaned and pushed his hands through Remus’ damp hair. His tongue was drawing circles around Remus’s, which was pushing back just as insistently. He moved his hands to the back of Remus’s long neck, while feeling Remus surround his hips with agile fingers. When their erections touched, they gasped into each other’s mouths and deepened the kiss further, never wanting it to end. Sirius pulled Remus inside the shower completely, this time closing the curtain. He realized dimly that he had forgotten to do that earlier. So much the better.

Hands were running up and down slick bodies, discovering, exploring and teasing. Remus’s skin really was incredibly soft, Sirius noticed, and impossibly smooth. The muscles on his back twitched and moved at even the slightest touch of fingers on skin, and Sirius arched himself into Remus’s body, needing to feel his entire frame coalesce with the other boy’s.

When Remus’s teeth found his neck, Sirius hissed.

“Like that?” murmured Remus, moving his mouth over Sirius’s collarbone, nipping and licking the abused skin.


Remus had obviously decided to take that as an invitation to do more, and Sirius didn’t mind one bit, as soft lips and sharp teeth continued downward, exploring his wet chest. He vaguely realised that his hands were digging into Remus’s shoulders rather hard, but that was simply too much to think about as a hot mouth clamped around his nipples, one at a time, and licked them until he was almost delirious. Sirius moaned and dug his fingers in deeper. Remus moaned in return. He began descending again, barely touching Sirius’s stomach with his lips, merely tickling it with his hot breath. The not-quite-touch was driving Sirius mad, stealing all proper thought, and leaving only instinct in its wake. He was just almost-contemplating what would be done to him next, and whether he would be able to actually live through it, when the teasing mouth opened up wider and a tongue darted out to lick the tip of his cock.

Well, that answered that question. Sirius Black would die a happy man.

“Fuck, oh God, Remus…wha -what…you…ung!”

He never said he would die an articulate man. He felt a huff of laughter around his head, and decided to forgo words and cut straight to the incoherent moaning that he had been trying, uselessly, to hold back. Remus descended on him without mercy, taking him deep inside his throat with every bob of his head. The heat was unbelievable, and the soft tongue fluttering against his cock was driving him crazy, as Sirius writhed against the cold tile wall, hot water pouring onto his torso. He moved his hands to hold Remus’s head firmly and follow its progress up and down as the agonizingly intense assault on his cock continued. As he began to shake and lose total control of himself, Remus dug his fingers into the hips in front of his face and sucked harder. Sirius looked down and came instantly. Hard. And long. His whole body felt like it was channeling Pleasure itself, intense, hot, and almost painful continuous waves of it. Who knew that Remus Lupin was a messenger from the gods?

Sirius came back to himself, and realised that he was being held up, because his legs had grown so weak that they had stopped supporting his weight. He watched Remus slowly push himself off the floor, still holding onto Sirius’s waist, and gave him a quick kiss. Sirius barely felt a strange new taste on those lips, but it was undeniable. He could get used to this, he thought briefly.

“That was…” He searched for the right words. “Unbelievable. Amazing. You’re a genius.”

Remus laughed, “Well, if that’s all it takes… And they say you have to at least rid this world of an evil being to be classified as such.”

“They lie,” Sirius nodded, pushing his forehead against Remus’s and closing his eyes.

“They always do.” Sirius felt Remus’s nose brush his, and then those full lips touch his own. He pushed his face in closer, and kissed Remus for a few long, wonderful moments. He tasted himself again, and it was not wholly unpleasant. Not unpleasant at all. When they finally broke off, he opened his eyes and saw that Remus’s were still closed. His cheeks were flushed from the hot water - and the exertion - and his lower lip hung open, wet and pink. His hair, turned dark brown by the water, was plastered to his forehead, small droplets sliding down his face. He looked too perfect for words. At least any words that Sirius could have come up with.

“All right?” Sirius asked after a moment.

“Mmmm.” Remus opened his eyes, and smiled. “Just fine. A little…unresolved…but otherwise, just fine.”

“Well, perhaps I can help alleviate that…issue.” Sirius breathed in his ear, sliding his hand down Remus’s back, delighting in the way the muscles twitched and moved underneath his fingers. “Anything in particular you had in mind?”

“You mean, besides seducing you in the shower, while you were naked and helpless?” Remus firmly bit his neck, and licked the wound in one slow motion. Sirius almost forgot the question.

“Never helpless, Moony,” he answered after a pause, grabbing the firm arse his wayward hand had found. Remus breathed in deeply and exhaled.

“Oh, forgive me, then, my Knight in Shining Armour. Would that make me a damsel in distress?” Sirius felt another bite, this time to his shoulder, and moaned.

“Oh, no, Mr Moony, never that, either. I don’t know of a single damsel in distress that walks into in-use showers and seduces her to-be-saviour.” He lowered himself slightly, and hooked one of Remus’s legs around his waist. Remus immediately put his arms around him for leverage. Sirius never really thought that being so close to Remus would put him so on edge, but lo and behold. Just this simple movement was making his stomach churn and knees shake. Remus’s erection was now firmly pressing against his stomach, and their hips began moving against each other of their own accord.

“Do you want me, Remus?” Sirius whispered into the other boy’s ear, pressing him closer and making Remus gasp and writhe against him.


“How? What do you want?” He moved his hands all over Remus’s arse, kneading it and caressing.

“Yo-your mouth…inside…ahh!”

Wow. This was going to be better than Sirius could have imagined. Remus was simply full of surprises this morning, wasn’t he?

“Lean against this wall,” Sirius commanded as he lowered Remus’s leg and turned him to face the white tile. Remus shot him a maddening look over his shoulder, and then propped himself up on the tiles, thrusting his arse out just enough for Sirius to begin growling. God, that arse. He quickly lowered himself to his knees and took hold of Remus’s hips. He pressed his cheek against the lower equivalent of Remus’s, and closed his eyes. The skin was smooth, but the musculature underneath it hard. The contradiction was extraordinary. He inhaled and caressed the skin underneath his palm. While one hand continued to rub, the other began moving towards the center, dipping into the cleft. He spread the cheeks apart and leaned in, closing his eyes. He felt Remus tense up, and begin to shake, as his tongue darted in and out of the tight hole. He moaned and felt the sound vibrate all through Remus as his friend shook, gasping and moaning so loudly, Sirius was amazed no one had run in to find out who was dying. Sirius was loving every minute of it. Reducing Remus Lupin to a state of incoherent babbling was no easy feat, besides which, he felt amazing, and Sirius clutched at the hips in front of him, holding them so tightly, he knew that Remus would have bruises in a matter of minutes. He didn’t care.

When Remus began to swear with each breath and pound the wall with his fist, Sirius slid one of his hands forward and began pumping the hard cock that was sliding against the tiles. Remus cried out and threw back his head, as come shot all over Sirius hand. Faster than he could actually think, Sirius twisted himself around and swallowed the cock down his throat, catching most of Remus’s seed. When Remus was done gasping from his orgasm as well as from shock, Sirius slowly let go and, closing his eyes, rolled his head back against the wall. A slow smile spread over his face, and he licked his lips.

“How was that?”

He felt smooth hands on his shoulders lifting him up, and languidly slid up the tiles. Lips found his and he gave in, kissing Remus slowly, trying to share some of the taste with him. He pulled Remus closer, and held him in his arms.

“That wasn’t bad,” Remus finally answered, after they broke off. He was lazily licking his lips, looking at Sirius through hooded eyes. That little sod, Sirius thought affectionately. He’d never give in.

“Not bad, huh?” He pushed some hair out of Remus’s eyes, and watched the hazel irises following his progress. It was strangely mesmerising. “And what would a man have to do to make it a bit more than ‘not bad’, might I wonder?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Remus pulled him in closer, strong arms holding his frame firmly. “Perhaps fuck me silly, as well?”

“Ah.” Sirius willed his body to calm down, right after berating his vocal cords for cracking. “I think that might be arranged. Only a bit later, it is a Friday, after all.”

“Indeed it is.”

“And a certain Professor McGonagall will have a whole litter of kittens, as it is.”

“If she hasn’t already.”

“Multiple times.”

“With her husband.”

“Correct.” The both snorted lightly, and kissed.

“We really do need to get out of this shower, though, I’m turning all pruny,” Remus said, leaning over to turn off the faucet. Sirius watched as he leaned back in.



“You really are evil, you know.” Dark eyebrows shot up, looking inquisitive. “You foiled my plans.”

“To do what, wank off in the shower?”

“No, you prat.” Sirius cuffed him on the head. “To seduce you.

“Oh. Well. My apologies, my dear Padfoot. Next time, I promise, you can do the whole seducing bit.”

“And the fucking bit.”

“And that,” Remus conceded.

Both tried valiantly to keep up their straight faces. Sirius cracked first, and Remus followed.

“I don’t care what the hell we do next time, as long as it involves me, you, no clothes, and lots of rubbers,” Sirius half-laughed, and leaned in to bite Remus’s neck.

“Oh, sounds good to me,” Remus sighed, tilting his head back.

And so, Professor McGonagall never got to see two of her brightest pupils that day. Either in class, lunch, or dinner.

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